KNOWING YOURSELF IS YOUR GUIDE TO HAPPINESS
The North Star remains in a fixed position throughout the course of the night. It is a dependable. While other stars swirl around the night sky, it never moves. It always points toward the north pole – the True North. For this reason, it has been used over the course of human history as a reference point. Sailors relied on the North Star to help them navigate and prevent them from getting lost. Explorers depended on it to help them stay on course as they mapped out uncharted routes to new territories.
WHAT IS YOUR NORTH STAR?
What about you? Do you have your own North Star – a confident understanding of who you are – to keep you on track with where you want to go in life and how to get there? To your own True North? It can take some deep exploring to find it. But if we don’t fully know ourselves, many of us get lost at sea…
We strive for something that society or the media tells us we should do. We don’t like our body type, our colour, our look. We feel we should look like the models and celebrities whose images are in our face every day.
We’re undecided about the kind of career we should have. We’re not sure who our real friends are, or should be. We’ve made assumptions about ourselves based on what people tell us … you’re good at this, not so good at that, stick to this to be safe. And so we do. We’re nice. We compromise. We ‘play it safe’, and in doing so, often create our own limitations.
But what if we could navigate around these limitations and head to our own True North – where we want to be?
It starts with finding your North Star – getting in touch with who you really are. It’s not always easy, but it can keep you from wandering aimlessly. So where do you start?
FINDING YOUR NORTH STAR
It’s important to look back over your life – you can go as far back as childhood – and think about the people and events that shaped you into who you are today. For instance, who taught you to play it safe? When you got rejected from the team, what did you tell yourself as to the reason why? When your boyfriend broke up with you, what decision did you make about how loveable you are? Having a good understanding of your personal history helps you figure out the ‘why’ behind many of the choices you’ve made thus far, and if they were the right choices.
Be curious. Get beyond what you’ve been conditioned to believe about yourself… that you’re good at this, not so good at that. How do you know if you haven’t tried it? By stepping outside your comfort zone and taking on a new challenge, you may find you’re actually very good at doing something you never expected you would be, and get a lot of satisfaction from making that discovery.
Find someone you admire, who you feel embraces your ideas and values. Look to that person as your role model. Emulate their thoughts and behaviours to see if they’re a good fit for you. If they turn out not to be a good fit, not consistent with your own values, then move on, and look for other role models.
Use these tactics to learn to know who you really are, to find your essence, your own North Star. Once you find it, you’ll have a much better sense of your values, of what you like or don’t like. You’ll be oriented when looking for a job or career toward one that you find satisfying, because it’s the right fit. You’ll be able to find the right friends and make healthy decisions for yourself. You won’t be afraid to challenge yourself and try out new activities, explore new paths, because you have a clear sense of the direction you want to be heading in.
NEED HELP WITH THE NAVIGATION?
Your North Star is eternal. It’s who you are. It will never fade away, move or disappear. I love working with individuals to explore the galaxy of their past experiences and future opportunities, help them find their own North Star, and once they’ve found it, chart the course that heads them in the direction they want to go – to their own True North – where they will be able to optimize their happiness.
Please contact me if you are looking for support on your journey.