My mother’s highest aspiration for me when I was in high school was to be a secretary. She could only envision “secretary” for her daughter as a woman at work. In her paradigm, as an uneducated immigrant woman (she only went up to grade 6 in Chinese school), it made perfect sense as that is how she identified herself.
However, when I graduated from University and started working, I had to create a whole new model of success for myself as I did not want to follow a traditional Chinese gender role. The model I had to go on was not going to work for the goals I had for myself. To help me be successful, I took on the “fake it ’til you make it” syndrome.
I participated in a ‘Dress for Success’ program early in my career and learn how to dress for the level I wanted and to model speaking, acting, studying for what I wanted. I wasn’t yet at the level I wanted to be, but I looked it, lived it and breathed at the level I was aiming for. Was I being a fake? I think not!
If you did a web search for how to be successful you will find a billion hits that regurgitate all sorts of tips and advice for what to do and what not to do. You’ll find ideas for productivity, networking, branding, marketing, positive thinking – you name it, it’s out there and more. And maybe some of them can make a difference in your pursuits. So great, keep at it.
However, the most important tip is to adjust your mindset to reflect your future dreams and aspirations, regardless of your current circumstances. Do you know why? If you want to be a boss, you have to be like a boss! Allow yourself to act, feel and think consistent with your notion of what a boss is – effectively this becomes your self-expression of being a boss.
According to Lindsay Pattison, global CEO of Maxus, “success is a state of mind, and if you don’t allow yourself to enjoy your current role (and pat yourself on the back for the work you’ve put in to get there), you’ll be miserable. Remember that a positive mindset and a great sense of resilience are both crucial to continuing to grow and progress in your career.” She goes on to say “Across the board, women shouldn’t just be asking for promotions—we should be creating new roles and opportunities to lead.”
So give this a try: just start faking it. Fake it ‘til you make it. Or said another way, keep practicing how it feels to act like you have success now and watch how everything around you starts to mimic it.