Tell me what you want, what you really REALLY want. Were the Spice Girls onto something with sticking that lyric in our heads? In my coaching practice, I have encountered women who are clear about their wants – up until a certain point. Then an event happens (like a landmark birth age is reached or being outsourced from a job) and they suddenly realize that they don’t know what they want anymore. Can you relate in some area of your life? You are going along with the flow of life, on a path and then Wham, your kids move into their college dorm. Or Wham, husband files for divorce. Or Wham, you lose your job security.
It is in these moments when jolted out of your normal flow that you may want to look at your life and ask the questions: “What about me?”, “What do I want?” I have seen women come to the uncomfortable realization that they don’t have the answers to those questions.
I remember once a long time ago being asked about what I wanted for my life as part of a course I was a participant in. The answers I gave I thought were all about me and what my wants were. However, the feedback I got on my answer was that there was not a lot of “me” in my response. My wants at that time were completely wrapped into what I provided for other people in my life, and none were actually about fulfilling on my own wants, for me.
Since then, I have worked at uncovering my heart’s desire and my true life’s calling. This process for me began first with unpacking what parts of my wants are actually a response to other people’s expectations of me. (Now don’t get caught up on if you made up those expectations up or they imposed it on you, just see that doing what people expect of you is not the same thing as doing what you want to be doing.)
If this is you, then it’s time to take it back to the drawing board. Find a quiet space and get comfortable. Maybe grab that cup of tea and get ready to go inwards.
Take a deep breath and connect with your inner 8 year old. Spend a minute in her space and connect with what she really really wanted to do when she grew up.
Now, take another deep breath and as an adult reflect: if money and time was not a problem, what would you be doing with your life? BREATHE! Try not to get constrained by your current circumstances. Really, if money and time were not a problem, what would you be doing? If all the people in your life were taken care of, what would you be doing?
This was an impossible exercise for me to do but I kept coming back to the above questions and slowly, I started making decisions and taking actions to fulfil on my heart’s desire. Now I am committed to creating spaces where women are empowered and ready to take action on fulfilling their dreams. Join me on the next Own Your Badassery Workshop on October 20, 2017!